Not For the Weak

Dating in 2024, am I right? Lol Let’s see, I am about 2 years in, and dating has been…interesting. Defo not for the weak. Different from when I was last single a whole 30 years ago when we communicated through pagers and car phones the size of shoeboxes. Nintendo was eponymous, and Aaliyah took on the world by storm with her smooth, silky voice and style. So, when I say dating in the 21^st century is interesting, I mean the movie, Minority Report, kind of interesting minus the apprehension of convicted murders before they commit crimes part.

Only, I do sometimes feel like a Precognitive when I swipe left and imagine someone’s life story by the minute details they share in their profile. Like, why doesn’t this one smile in any of the 10 photos they posted? Do we not like joy? Wonderful, sunglasses…in every image. Go ahead and hide your windows to the soul. See if we care, haha! Five gym pics. Five. Do they spend time anywhere else? Sick motorcycle, you’re cool. Seriously, what is up with the hats, once again, in every pic? And don’t get me started on the profiles with zero images of themselves replaced with either memes or landscapes. It’s giving ‘married’ or ‘live-in partner’ or ‘too shy to be on the site to begin with.’

And I get it, guys aren’t as cool as gals. We gals post headshots, ¾ shots, full body shots. Smiling. Smizing. Face beat with full on makeup. Or fresh face. Several hairstyles: updos, braids, hair down. We know all about angles. The flattering and not-so flattering ones. You aint seeing the unflattering ones, bruh. Ever. But in all honesty, unless you are the IG sensation, Mr. Dasante, or have a professional photographer, ya’ll never had a chance.

So, I do give the male species grace, because I can’t talk, all jokes aside. I don’t share much by way of what I include on my profile description, what I do for a living or even my real name. Not for forever. If they make it past a few levels of trust, I siphon bits and pieces of information out like premium fuel.

What makes it worse is the fatigue and aggravation single people express with being bothered to sign up at all. It’s like if you didn’t want to cooperate, why are you even on here? And if you’re determined to feel like the whole ordeal is difficult and a waste of time, guess what? For you, it will be difficult and a waste of time. If you intentionally participate, you will find whatever you are looking for whether it’s online dating, in-person dating or otherwise. I know of women who found their forever persons online, and it’s pretty cool.

Either way, I am probably having more fun than I should. The experiences are so different from one to the next. I love that I am so much more present and self-aware than I have ever been in my entire life. Setting boundaries is truly an art form at this point as well. So, my best advice to those who are braving the wild is to consider leaning in and making the best out of each and every one of your experiences before you find your person and get back off of the market. Let me know if you agree in the comments!

Happy hunting! -Dr. T